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There Is No Spoon

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Telekinesis/Telepathy/Extra-Sensory Perception

Holy crap! Psychic powers? The ability to read someone's mind? Or move things with sheer will-power? Ms. Cleos, Obi-Wan Kenobis, and Professor Xs, step right up and tell us about your claims to fame.
 
There has been a lot of specualtion on whether this stuff is actually possible, or if it's always just a scam, or a joke, a story. Pretty cool stuff, though, so I thought I might write what I thought about it.
 
I remember seeing on television one time, some show...there was a Russian guy who claimed to be able to read anybody's mind within a mile radius. That's kinda farfetched. But let's say for a moment that it's possible. How could it happen? I have a theory that is by no means based on scientific fact, but it's just a farfetched idea I have.
 
You've got all those little electrodes in your brain, right? And maybe those electrodes help carry thoughts and stuff around. Well, say someone has a particularly powerful brain, and their electrodes can channel to electrodes belonging to other people, thus kind of transferring their thoughts over into the "psychic's" head. Huh? Huh? Whatcha think?
 
Or what about telekinesis? Man, it would be so cool to have the ability to move stuff around with your mind. Again, those electrodes come into play..maybe there's some stray electricity in the surround air and stuff, right? So those powerful electrodes can contact the electricity in the air, and kinda push objects around...that'd be neat.
 
The one I most believe in is Extra-Sensory Perception, or ESP. At least a minor form of it. I have, and others I know have also, had dreams, or a feeling or something about an event, or someone saying something followed by another line of dialogue...just little snippets of stuff that isn't really important at all. And we don't think anything more of it...until a day, a week, a month or two later, it happens, somehow or other, and you know the line you're supposed to say, so you say it despite yourself...it's a serious case of deja vu. I don't know why it happens, but it does...so maybe people with a stronger form of this predicament can really fortell events...nifty.